Two heads are not always better than one

As most of you know, I am not pursuing a conventional treatment plan to deal with the breast cancer.  I believe chemotherapy and radiation to be the most counter-intuitive “treatments” imaginable.  That being said, I have promised those who worry about me that I will keep my ears open and at least hear what both sides have to say.

One might say that having access to more than one strategy would be beneficial.  After all, both naturopathy and western medicine study cancer and advocate for treatments they tote to be helpful.  When neither side offers a guaranteed cure though, what one is actually left with is a whole lot of questions.

Two heads are not always better than one.

I knew going into this journey, being open to both sides would be harder than going completely natural, and definitely more challenging than going the popular, western route, so I shouldn’t be surprised.  What surprises me the most in this contrast of two methodologies is the way I feel in the midst of each.

When I first got diagnosed, I was very accepting and positive.  I was thinking with my naturalistic brain and feeling with my heart, and I was not scared.  As soon I saw the surgeon, that positivity and courage was zapped.  I don’t blame him.  It’s not his fault.  It goes way deeper than that.  As soon as I walk into the medical offices, the lab, or the hospital, the same thing happens.  In fact, it stirs in me before I even get there.  I feel a little bit nauseous, totally unsure of myself, and very unsafe.  I go through the motions because like I said, I’ve committed to others that I will hear both sides.

In between these medical appointments, I go to my naturopath, Dr. Matt Pyatt, twice a week for IV vitamin C treatments and mistletoe therapy (no that doesn’t mean a make-out session!)  In these in-between times, I feel great.  I feel empowered and stress-free.  I feel healthy and happy.  I am welcomed at the office on a first name basis, all of my questions get answered promptly, and most importantly, I am treated like an individual, not just another patient.  The camaraderie that exists in the IV room among patients is amazing and inspiring.


It was this realization today that got me thinking…  being in both worlds is not really working for me.  

I believe that stress is a huge player in the cancer game and am doing my best to rid it from my life while I build myself back up and heal.  Through things like researching, meditating, and following my intuition, I am living life presently and positively.  I feel good, like its working, as long as I don’t have any medical appointments.  I’m not sure what exactly this means for me but the realization and awareness of something that isn’t working is always the first step.

Have you ever been pulled in two directions and not known which way to go?  Did you follow your intuition?



13 thoughts on “Two heads are not always better than one

  1. In answer to your question, yes and we all do, but that’s simply noise distracting our inner wisdom. There is however no permanent disconnect which is clear to see in your writings, therein step back listen to some gentle music, sit on a sandy beach alone, walk through a wooded area and reconnect with who you really are.

    There is wonderful energy around you and your blog, big thank you for sharing, sincere regards, Barry

  2. Jenn,

    This is so inspiring to read. I truly believe in following your intuitions and being true to oneself. And yes, I do know what it is like to be in a position in which I’m being pulled in two directions…and from experience, I’ve always been satisfied when I’ve followed my own heart. Although sometimes it’s easier said then done…especially when you have so many opposing opinions from others. That being said, stay strong and keep positive! I also believe stress is a ‘driving-force,’ if you will to perpetuate illness. So relax, embrace your journey, and do things that you truly enjoy…whether it’s reading a good book, knitting (haha…my fav), baking, etc. You’re in my thoughts my dear. Please keep posting! And keep in touch.


  3. Pingback: Intuition, signs, and meditation | Journey Through Breast Cancer

  4. In response to this question of yours; Yes Jenn, I once had a big decision to make…something bold I really wanted to do, something that felt very right in honoring my soul. I cancelled at one point because of a few nay-sayers and that ‘pull’… oh the guilt! I felt miserable about it. Then my intuition kicked back into gear and I decided to take the plunge after all. I never regretted it and it was life-changing for me in the most positive way. I suffered some flack over it but I have to live my life and be true to myself, and grow, and learn.

    Even though your decision is of much greater magnitude than mine was, I do understand your challenge. I see both sides of your situation but I have to respect your decision. What worked for me was that once I made up my mind after weighing the pros and cons, I decided to not have regrets over it, but to embrace the choice and make the most of the opportunity.

    It’s called ‘a leap of faith’ for a reason, it isn’t always easy. It may not even be a ‘leap’ for you…just your gut telling you to stay true. But if you truly know what you have to do, and your immediate family understands and gives you their support, then you have made your choice. I know how destructive fear can be…so let the fear go and live your meaningful life..and shine!

  5. Hi Jenn,
    On a leg of your journey I met you in a restaurant in the mountains. When my son – who was with me – and I talk of our trip, we always come back to meeting you. Your presence was powerful for us that evening. Your strength and courage are revealed again with your words. I am honoured and very much moved to read them.

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